Unplugged Living

Global Warming’s Benefits

by Noel on November 23rd, 2007

So you think global warming only brings about destruction? Well, there’s always a bright side to everything - even global warming!Read these 25 benefits of global warming. I’m sure you’ll be smiling as you go through each number.

1. Minnesota can change its license plate slogan from “Shit hole” to “The State with Two Coasts.”
2. Kansas will finally get what it deserves: a hurricane.
3. Saying “I hate winter” will be like saying “I hate Father’s Day”, cause it only lasts 24 hours.
4. No more penguins.
5. The hotter it is, the colder beer’ll taste.
6. “Sunny Alaska” will replace “Burny Florida” as the new winter vacation destination.
7. It will take a lot less time to boil water.
8. You’ll finally get some use out of that ark you got for Christmas.
9. Hot Tubs will be replaced with Ice Tubs - which will mean lots and lots of hard nips.
10. Everyone will be so tan that we’ll all look like Arabs. And then there won’t be any more racism.
11. One word: Waterworld.
12. Another great excuse to hang out in your underwear 24/7/365.
13. Mexicans will start heading south instead of north.
14. You’ll be able have engine block eggs without starting your engine.
15. The Olympic torch will never go out.
16. Due to the lack of ice, hockey will finally become the the sport it was meant to be: a bunch of guys hitting each other with sticks under water.
17. There’s no forest fires in the ocean.
18. The phrase “hot as hell” will no longer be hyperbole.
19. You’ll be able to roast your nuts without an open fire.
20. Since they’re called the “Boys of Summer”, baseball will be played year round.
21. You’ll be able to really put your Degree deodorant to the test, just like in the commercial.
22. It’ll be as hot as the south everywhere, so naturally, everyone will become as funny as Jeff Foxworthy and Larry The Cable guy. We’ll laugh ourselves into world peace.
23. You’ll be able to give hot rock massages to ladies you just met in the park.
24. If the entire world floods and we’re forced to live underwater, maybe we’ll meet Poseidon.
25. We’ll all figure out there’s nothing beneficial about global warming.

[Image from Dysalot]

Tags: Education

Share This

Related Stories

A Little More Humor
Can You Help Lessen Effects of Global Warming?
A Little Humor
Bangkok Joins Battle Against Global Warming
Put An ‘X’ On Global Warming (Part I)

POSTED IN: Education